A letter to my teenage self - 30 day blog challenge day 6

I'm doing a 30-day blogging challenge (but I already skipped days 4 and 5 in favour of other content 😆 That still counts, though, right? I did post on those days 🤷🏻). Today's topic is: "A letter to your teenage self."

Oof... I didn't expect this challenge to be this heavy.

In writing a letter to my past self, I realized I need to write one to my current self, too

I thought about this post for a while before I wrote it.

I asked myself, what would I want to say to her? That younger version of me?

My first thoughts were: WARN HER! Tell her what to expect and have her make better choices!

After all, I'm living with chronic pain and other health problems that, while largely unpreventable, I would like to have been better prepared for. I would love to have saved every penny I had (back when pennies were still a thing here in Canada) to give myself a little more financial stability. I would have worried less and played more. I'd have gone surfing 🏄🏻 before it was deemed too dangerous for my unstable body.

But that's not how things work.

We can't go back into the past and warn ourselves. But we can learn from the past. So I think it's important that I remind my current self of a few things:

• Keep being careful with your choices and preparing for how bad things might get in the future. Even though you don't want to think about the possibility of surgeries and worsening symptoms, you'll do yourself a favour by making sure you have a proper support system in place if it comes to that.
• Continue treating your body as well as you can. You're doing a great job with healthy choices and I'm proud of you.
• Don't forget to let yourself live, sometimes. It might not always be the best thing for your physical health, but your mental health matters, too. And life is short. Let yourself experience some of the incredible things this planet has to offer.

A letter to my teenage self

Listen, self. You and I both know there's a lot to unpack 😆 I could go over every detail and we could talk about physical health, mental health, life choices, and how you handled some really tough times. But I don't want to get into the details. I could get lost in those and miss the point, entirely. So... here we go.

First, and probably most importantly: I forgive you.

I forgive you for not knowing everything. I forgive you for treating yourself poorly while you tried to figure it out. I forgive you for talking down to yourself, for not protecting yourself better from other people, for wanting to give up. I forgive you for every time that you ever thought you were the problem and for not trusting your gut. I forgive you for the time you spent being sad, depressed, overwhelmed, and afraid instead of embracing and enjoying life.

But also: I thank you.

I thank you for not actually giving up. I thank you for all the times that life pushed you down and you get back up. I thank you for believing in yourself enough to keep fighting and make it to where I am today; to who I am today. I thank you for trying some new things and not wasting every precious moment you had before your body started to fail you.

I release you.

I am no longer you. You paved the road for who I am today but I no longer think like you. I have grown. It's beautiful, really. I am no longer you and so I release you to be who you are and I let go of any guilt, shame, or sadness that you carried. It's not mine to carry, anymore. So, I guess, I release me, too.